WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOUR CHILD
Vishma Sookdeo
Many parents complain that their children simply aren’t motivated to learn. I don’t
believe this. I feel every child is motivated to learn, we just have to find the
key to that motivation. One of the best ways to discover that key is to simply observe
your children when they’re having fun. What kinds of things do they like to do?
These are the things that motivate them. The trick is taking the excitement and
vitality you see when they’re having a good time and transplanting it into academic
learning. It may not be as difficult as you think.
Say, for example, your child loves doing wheelies on his bike all day. You can take
his love of bicycles and help him learn to read by providing him with books about
bikes, or you can awaken an interest in mathematics by taking him to the bike store
the next time he needs a part and look at the importance of metric measurements
in a bike’s instructions. You can take anything your child loves to do and show
him how academic skills can help him learn more about it. Make sure not to impose
your ideas on your child or he’ll resist. Instead, allow yourself to be led by your
child’s own interests.
Parental Involvement
Parental involvement is essential and imperative for the development of a child.
However a parent who becomes “too involved” or who worries too much can result in
the undermining of the child’s sense of “autonomy and motivation”. With a child
who has a grade point average of a B or higher, it may be best to occasionally ask
that child if they need assistance. Children who know that their parent finds their
schoolwork important and interesting are more likely to feel more motivated to strive
to do better in school. Some extra attention from a parent could make a difference
between a child staying a low-achiever and becoming an average-achiever.
A few extra hours a day with a low-achieving child might make a world of difference
in years to come. Making a plan or a “to do” list with the low- achiever, as well
as addressing those harder problems in homework together as a team could be helpful.
It’s important to let your children know that they have your support.
Reward and Punishment: Helpful
or Hurtful?
A conception among some, parents and teachers alike, is that rewards and punishment
can be useful and effective when trying to motivate a child to do a desired task,
such as homework. However, research shows that children who are lured into doing
something for a reward are less likely to do it again if no reward is given. Similarly,
punishment or “consequences” often evokes in a child feelings of “anger, defiance
and a desire for revenge”. This means that reward and punishment, even if it seems
minor, could produce the opposite of the desired effect.
It is suggests that the most effective type of reward is giving praise. Giving contingent
praise, or “praise that is effective because it refers directly to specific task
performances”, is most effective because it emphasizes that success depends upon
the amount of effort one puts in. Receiving praise and good feedback assists children
in evaluating themselves, helping them to create reachable goals. Once your child
has established goals for homework or studying, they have already begun the process
of becoming a self-regulated learner, or a child who has “knowledge of effective
learning strategies and how and when to use them”. A parent’s goal should be to
help their child become a self-regulated learner.
Overall, I would say that rewards and punishments should be avoided if at all possible.
They are quick fixes for parents who want to motivate their children to do well
in school. In the long run, children will be more motivated and eager to learn if
their motivation is not determined by conditional extrinsic factors, but intrinsic
ones. Using “praise” only when the child has done well or improved, is a mild form
of reward that can teach that the amount of effort exerted and success are positively
correlated.
Helpful Hints
Get involved! - and support your child’s studies. Make sure they know that they
have your support.
Help your child get organized - Sit down with your child and go over their schedule
with them, as needed. Encourage setting priorities and talk about rearranging certain
activities in order to get their work done.
Encourage curiosity - If an example is made by the parents that learning is fun,
interesting and not just something that occurs during school hours, a child could
feel more motivated to learn for pleasure.
Give motivating feedback - When your child has done well on a test or on an assignment,
do not hesitate to let them know that their hard work has paid off.
Discuss why they were successful in order to demonstrate good study strategies.
Emphasize effort, not ability - Children need to learn to attribute success with
the amount of effort that they put into their work, not how smart they are. Parents
who emphasize that success is due to amount of effort are more likely to motivate
their child to do their best than parents who focus on ability alone.
Be patient - Follow these few guidelines, but do not expect miracles to happen over
night. Children are still developing and many just need a little time “to develop
the maturity that allows them to complete homework assignments and chore with a
minimum of supervision.”
Ways to motivate kids to
do homework
Establish a regular system. Having children do homework in “the same place, the
same time with the same routine is critical.” Children thrive on routine.
Set up a dedicated workspace. Just as a bed promotes sleeping, a place designed
for homework will promote studying. Stock the space with a few cool tools, such
as colorful pencils, fun folders or a playful computer mouse. The novelty might
wear off, but sitting down to a cheerful space will set the tone.
Remember that learning styles differ for every person.
A CHILD TO LOVE
You can have your wealth and riches
All the things so many seek
Position, power and success
The fame you love to keep
You can earn as much as you wish
Reach a status high above
But none of these can equal
Having one sweet child to love
T'is the greatest gift from heaven
Little arms that hold you tight,
And a kiss so soft and gentle
When you tuck them in at night
A million precious questions
And each story often read
Two eyes so bright and smiling
And a darling tousled head
God has never matched the goodness of a trusting little face
or a heart so full of laughter
Spreading sunshine every place
A child to hold and cuddle and the world is so much brighter
T'is a gift from God above . . . when you have a child to love.